Dec 19, 2024
I just learned these two BEST strategies for
responding when
Notice I said respond not react because we know the
longer we can space out the action or comment and our reaction the
more control we have.
These two strategies will teach you HOW TO RESPOND
when someone belittles you or says something
disrespectful.
And then best part is, you leave the situation having
handled it with confidence and control - and you haven’t lowered
your standards for yourself - like the other person likely
did.
These are skills that you have to think about BEFORE
you’re in the situation so when the situation happens, you’re
ready!!
I learned these 2 strategies from Jefferson Fisher, a
trial lawyer and an expert on communication.
- Have them repeat it
- Ask them if this is their intention with this
When someone is belittling to you or says something
hurtful- make them repeat it.
They are trying to get a reaction out of
you.
When you ask them to repeat it - they don’t get that
reaction/ that response time.
It takes the fire out of it and flips it on
them.
They don’t want to say it again - the spotlight is on
them!
THEN ask question of intent.
Did you say that to hurt me?
Puts a mirror on them.
You don’t have to respond or react at all!!! It
handles it!!
You don’t have to figure out how to respond to
something you dont want to respond to.
Did you say that to offend me?
Usually it’s no no no I didn’t mean to!!
Usually it’s no no no I didn’t mean to!!
I’m just kidding - you don’t need to be so sensitive
etc.
You’re not going to believe how good this
is!!!
Two skills that you have to think about BEFORE you’re
in the situation so when the situation happens, you’re
ready!!
Listen - some of these comments could come from good
people with good intentions. But it doesn’t always translate
this way. It’s your job to respond in a confident way without
it rattling you or making you depressed.
Because we know people opinions have so much more to
do with them, than us.
And know!!! Don’t lower your standard of yourself
because someone else lowered their standard of themselves.
Next time this happens to you, you’ll be ready to
handle it in the most awesome way possible!